New clothes. Big whup.

When I was about 10 my best friend and I had this saying: big whup. Big whup applied to anything that was beneath our prepubescent sense of cool or was just plain unimpressive. I haven't used that phrase in a while, but it seems fitting today.

This was my second trip to the Motherhood Maternity outlet at my nearby outlet mall. I'm realistic enough to know that I'm not going to find any high fashion at an outlet and Motherhood Maternity is kind of the lower end of the spectrum of my personal taste as it is. But seeing as this is definitely my last child and I only have to suffer through maternity clothes for four more months I'm not going to splurge.

But I would like to look at least a little bit like myself.

Two of my friends were kind enough to lend me a lot of clothes, but it's mostly jeans and khakis. I am looking forward to an exceptionally cute pair of black corduroy jeans, but since it's only early August I've got a ways to go before I'm wearing those. There are a couple nice tops that are also waiting for the cooler weather, so I've supplemented with my outlet purchases - about three t-shirts and a couple of tank tops – as well as a couple of blousey non-maternity shirts that I'm pretending (for as long as possible) are just fine for someone who's five months pregnant. It's an acceptable wardrobe but not even close to my usual taste or style.

But back to the outlet. One bargain I found was a t-shirt that said "good things come in large bellies." An excellent choice if you feel the world has not already taken notice of your enormous abdomen and protruding belly button, but not so much for me. There was another shirt that had a large heart on it and the word "baby." Again, a good choice if you are visiting with someone who has never before seen a pregnant lady, but you couldn't pay me to wear that.

I've got a wedding shower this weekend and I wanted a cute dress, so I tried a purple cotton dress with a small ruffle on the neckline and an empire waist that was gathered. The color was great, but sadly, my oversized boobs looked like a big, lumpy sausage.

(Speaking of boobs - mine are so big that they make the bottom of my bra into a kind of shelf. The other day I was at my desk and found in there an earring that had fallen off my shelf at home while I was getting dressed. I hadn't even noticed it.)

I wound up with a black-and-white dress that will probably see a lot of use since it is officially the only business-appropriate maternity item I have at this moment, a fairly cute white linen shirt that I am pretending does not have puffed sleeves, yet another t-shirt, a cute flowered skirt that would look a whole lot cuter if I actually had a waist, a blue sundress that may also be acceptable for business if I put a cardigan over it and a tank top with flowers on it that I will probably only wear at home.

Big whup.