Monday, November 29, 2010

Spying on the other team.

One woman's son was baking the pies right as they were sitting down to dinner. He even put one of them in the oven at 8:30 at night. AFTER they had eaten dinner. Her husband did not like that.

Another's one daughter-in-law bought her dress just three weeks before the wedding, which makes her a perfect match for her son, who never plans anything ahead and can never get all the food to come out of the oven at the same time.

According to the lady in the pink turtleneck whose earrings looked like pink plastic shopping bags that say Barbie on them, her son and his wife cook three different turkeys and then the kids vote on which they like best: oven-roasted, cooked on the grill and some other variation I couldn't quite make out. Only thing is, the son got up at 4 am to get one of them started, but by the time they sat down to eat he had forgotten about it. I'm not clear whether it was cooked to death or just never served because I was too busy listening to the woman next to her complain about how she bought all these groceries for lunch on Wednesday and then traffic was so bad that her kids didn't arrive until after 3 o'clock.

These are the True Thanksgiving Stories of my workout buddies at Curves. 99.9% of the time I am the youngest person there by a lot. I don't come at a consistent time of day, so I see a different group of women all the time. But apparently they see a lot of each other because they all seem to know one another. They also all seem to have kids about my age, so I feel like I'm getting a sneak peak into how my life looks from someone else's point of view.

Aside from the fact that some of these people work out in dress pants and turtleneck sweaters, I find them pretty inspiring. They are active, engaged in their families and community, have lots of advice about cooking and share openly their affections and irritations with their offspring and their families. Today, working out the frustrations of a wrestling match with my Christmas tree lights (a long and yet stunningly boring story), I was thoroughly entertained by their tales of kids who are always late, kids who are too busy, kids who are totally disorganized, kids who think they know how to do everything, kids who don't plan for traffic, even a kid who got up with her 10-year-old daughter at 2 am to get the Black Friday deals and wound up abandoning her cart because the wait in the check-out line was two hours long.

They were hilarious. But I couldn't help thinking so that's what they think of us.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Who you callin' grown up?

I'm turning 38 today and I'm not gonna lie - it's freaking me out a tiny bit. Not the age. I mean, it IS a little hard to believe that 40 is right around the corner when you're still on this side of it. But I wouldn't go back to being in my 20s or even, necessarily, my early 30s. At 38 I know I've still got a lot to learn about life, but I also know a lot more about myself and that's a good feeling.

No, the things that are weirding me out are the crow's feet around my eyes that gather up make-up in them if I put my foundation on too soon after my moisturizer. It's that I bought comfortable shoes and talked myself into believing they're cute - and they are, but they are not the same standard of cute I would have applied even five years ago. It's that my wardrobe is one that belongs to a real adult. It doesn't include anything overly trendy, overly low/short and it definitely doesn't include a single pair of jeggings. It's the fact that the classic rock stations are playing music that I listened to in high school. I mean, what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is happening here!?

I'm now part of a generation who are the parents/grown-ups on TV sitcoms. I'm the target of ads for luxury cars and peanut butter and laundry soap.

Here's a good example of how shocked I am by my age: I'm working on a series of videos for Shriners Hospitals for Children in which I am interviewing nurses, surgeons, physical therapists, etc. Because these hospitals are such amazing places people tend to stay there a long time, so what I hear over and over again is that people have been there 15 or 20 years. My first thought is, wow that's a long time! My second thought is holy crap, they're my age!

What I've learned is that we all have an age in our heads that we really are, which has very little to do with the age we actually are. In my head I'm about 24. I'm certainly not a grown-up, much less the mother of three children with a mortgage and a business. I'm not sure when everyone around me - my clients, my parents, my employees, my children, my friends - is going to realize that I am not an actual grown-up, despite the crow's feet and slightly sensible shoes.

I'm not sure when I'm going to realize I'm a grown-up. And I'm totally okay with that. Because age is fine, but actual adulthood is totally overrated.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Little b, big B.

When I first met B he was a blond, cherubic, chubby-cheeked 8-month-old, so cute that he looked like a child who comes in the picture that comes with the frame. I was smitten. He was smiley. It was the first time I had met all of Chad's family - brothers, sisters-in-law, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma - and B was a sweet diversion from the nervousness of meeting an entire family who are completely checking you out.

B was in our wedding, a three-year-old in a tuxedo looking like a ventriloquist's doll at his dad's side. He bawled his way down the aisle, then sat to the side of the altar during the cemetery, quietly running his cars up and down the carpeted step. When his parent's divorced he and his twin sister were regular visitors at our house. We'd play endless games of Monopoly, hike into the dunes and pretend to be animals, and he'd eat nothing but sausage for breakfast. He was always sweet, always one of those people who you just know has a gentle inner core, a good heart.

As he's gotten older he's still been a regular visitor. We'd get the occasional text message just to say Hi. We met his girlfriend. Talked about his first car accident - and laughed at how irritated he was that it happened to him and not his sister. When a difficult time at home led to him needing a fresh start Chad and I didn't hesitate a moment to bring him here. He's been here five months and it feels like forever, in the very best way.

This past Friday I took him on a college visit to University of Northwestern Ohio, an automotive technology school that I had never heard of before. What an impressive school. And what a truly fun day. B is not my son and I don't ever want to take away from his mother, who has raised a wonderful kid. But walking through campus with B, I felt the same way every mother who has prepared to send a kid off into the world has felt. That round-faced baby boy was towering over me, tall and skinny and strong. And at UNOH he was in his element. Cars are his passion, and it was a joy to see him take it all in - the tools, the technology, the cars, the single-minded focus on all things motorized. I asked him questions and he answered in detail, showing me things and explaining things that I have never seen before or come close to understanding about a car. He was the expert, I was just along for the ride.

We walked what seemed like miles in the brisk November cold, laughing at how all the kids in camouflage jackets and hats unloaded into the Ag building, eating pizza standing up in the high-performance auto shop, talking about everything and nothing. We saw drag racers and junky pick-ups, jacked up Hondas and a car that was two front ends welded together for use as a training aid. We watched the auto-cross club blaze black tire tracks into the asphalt as they raced through their course, and rolled our eyes when the un-tricked-out, un-jacked-up Jeep went the easy way up the off-road course.

It was a fun day. Circumstances have made it so that he spent it with me, instead of his mom or Dad, and I'm not going to lie - I was glad. It was a privilege and a joy. I can't wait to see where the next phase of his life will take him.